Who is the "Inner Child"?

[Lori Anne]

The "Inner Child" is the:

Little child you were who desired to be nurtured, cared for, and loved. This child still resides within you as an adult.

Free spirit, pixie, and elf you have tamed and controlled, yet who resides within you.

Emotional and sensitive you whom you have channeled, controlled, and silenced and who is still living within you.

Creative, imaginative, and artistic you who has been molded, structured, and organized; who still resides in you and is needing to be set free.

Hurt, pained, neglected, frustrated, abused, and ignored you whom you have masked, hidden from view, and denied the existence of. This child is always just below the surface, causing you to be anxious, worried, and fearful of mistreatment.

Fun loving, happy, frivolous, joyful, humorous you when you were young and unsophisticated; that person you have replaced with a sophisticated, mature, serious, task oriented demeanor.

Childhood you have lost or forgotten; yet it still resides in you, dwelling in your subconscious.

Person who knows how to have fun and play for play's sake; who can help you prevent burnout and manage the stress in your life.

Person you could be as an adult if you lightened up, let go of your seriousness, overcame your fears, and accepted flexibility and change in your life.

Person within you who needs healing, support, and reinforcement through a variety of Tools for Coping activities. Through this you can be given new life, health, and a chance for personal growth.

[Lori Anne]

From growing up in a dysfunctional family, emotional maturity could have been stunted. This failure to properly mature left the "Inner Child" unfinished because we either/and:

Grew up too fast.

Became small adults; little ``moms'' and ``dads.''

Were either over responsible or overachievers.

Were emotionally vulnerable.

Were not given a chance to grow and mature in a normal sequence of events.

Put on a public ``mask'' or image to stifle our child-like needs.

Repressed joy, vision, and feelings.

Still have a ``inner child'' waiting to grow up and take its proper place.




How does the "Inner Child" come into being?

The "Inner Child" comes into being by:

A denial of true feelings.

A denial of the person we are.

Trying hard to live up to others' expectations.

Holding back our child-like responses, while we provide adult like responses to stress.

The fear of being ``found out'' about how we really feel.

Insecurity in the midst of chaos, confusion, or the vacuum of repressed feelings.

A sense of obligation to always ``look good'' and ``be good.''

Inexperience at being loved for ``who you are'' rather than for ``what you do.''

Not being given the role model of how to ``enjoy'' life and to have ``fun.''

Always having to be ``serious'' about life.

A lack of encouragement to broaden our scope of vision about the ``potentials'' in life.

The stress of staying vigilantly in the ``here and now'' so that we stay in control and the ``walls didn't come tumbling down'' around us.

Never being given or taking the freedom to ``play'' and act ``childish.''

Not being given role models of how to take pleasure out of the ``little'' things in life.

A compulsive drive to fulfill our ``role'' in our family.

Not recognizing that we can make ``choices'' in our lives to make it what we want it to be.

Continuing even now to follow our ``compulsive'' role(s) rather than choosing to change and be free from the restraints this compulsion creates for us.

Silencing our "inner child'' and guarding ourselves, retreating behind ``masked'' barriers.

Feeling that it is not safe to grow up, to accept love, or to share feelings.

[Lori Anne]

I love you, I care about you, and I accept you just the way you are.

I am so proud of you and all that you are.

I am so happy you are my child.

You are so beautiful and attractive.

You are so bright and talented.

You are so artistic and creative.

You are such a good worker.

I am sorry I hurt you.

I am sorry I neglected you.

I am sorry I forgot you.

I am sorry I ignored you.

I am sorry I took you for granted.

I am sorry I made you grow up so fast.

I am sorry I had to rely on you so much.

You can trust me to take care of you.

You can trust me to be there for you.

You can trust me to protect you from any hurt or pain.

I will get help for myself and for the family.

We will work at getting healthy together.

We will have healthy fun and play together.

~~

[Lori Anne]

When as adults we choose to suppress the memory, needs, and desires of the "Inner Child" we run the risk of:

Never learning how to feel normally.

Never learning how to play and have fun.

Never learning how to relax and manage stress.

Never learning how to appreciate life. We would rather work at living.

Taking ourselves too seriously.

Feeling guilty over not being ``good enough,'' driving ourselves to work harder to be ``good enough.''

Becoming workaholics.

Not enjoying our family life with our children.

Being suspicious of people who enjoy life, have fun, and know how to play.

Social isolation, afraid to get involved with other people for fear we will be found out to be inadequate, not normal, or a misfit.