rhythms, cycles, and transitions

[Nai]

All of this is ruff stuff, just observations, incomplete at that.

I'm not going to really give much of an introduction to any of this, I'm just going to work on it gradually and let you see where it goes.

Please do not judge the experiences, praise is not needed nor is it really helpful, but anything that can help me understand my results is very helpful.

Observation transitions and changes (these are stages I've went through over about a month of self observation, days with no noticeable changes are not included. Each day includes about an hour of self observation done while walking, mostly while pushing shopping carts at work. It is during these hour periods that most of the noticeable changes occur. Remember though, just because we don't notice a change does not mean it is not there. One may go for a prolonged period of time with no noticeable change and then one day bamb your enlightened.):
FIRST day
Began trying to observe self notice a desire to focus on my breathing -it feels as if it will help maintain the observation.
25 minutes passes, and a sense that I am begining to somehow intuitively understand breathing itself

Second
thoughts initially pause as I begin to observe myself, feel slightly more "aware", perception seems brighter, I feel a little happier. Reactions that would normally occur do not and are replaced with a seemingly more controlled expression or responsiveness.
Begins to sometimes, off and on feel as if watching some foreign object or something outside myself.
symbol: saw image of turtle swimming on the ocean and the feeling of the ocean, or maybe a feeling of a love between the turtle and the ocean

Third
All normal except the idea crossed my mind that observing my breathing and my blinking might help (in another situation later on it did not help it actually made it harder to maintain a consistent focus.)

Fourth.

Eventually reualar exposer to observation resulted in today where my inner feeling, and thoughts felt like as much a part of my world as anything external, they felt normal or familiar. It gradually becomes easier to notice and make sense of what is observed.
At this period inuitive intelligence is increased and things just start to make sense. Attention becomes directed to various parts of the body and as you focus on them  a little while still maintaining observation of thoughts and emotion results in those parts of body feeling charged and tingly: first mood improved, body feels lighter, and more energized, then the tingling.
symbol: saw the image of an eye in my mind.

this is a month but there was only four days where anything noticeable happened.

Most basic forms of meditation I've done seem to fallow a similar pattern of transition, I'll write them down as I right more observation sessions.

Then when I have compiled enough information We will sit and study that trying to pinpoint key patterns.

[♀♥Lady Urania♥♀]

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why would we dare judge your experiences?

Im just glad to see you N! *HUGS*!! 

[Lori Anne]

I've been using quiet periods at work as well to observe myself.  though I do it mostly in relation to other people.  Observe my (auto) reactions to them.  Very interesting stuff. 
I get this a lot, too:

Begins to sometimes, off and on feel as if watching some foreign object or something outside myself.

Thanks for sharing your  mad science experiments with us N!

[Nai]

There was more pertinent thoughts on this, but I ran out of time to share. At some point during my observations I noticed that inner changes would appear to speed up if I focused specifically on maintaining my focus uninterrupted for as long as I could. IN other words if I simply tried to observe it might take all day for me to notice any change in how I felt or how clear my observations were, but if I began focusing on maintaining my observation without losing focus, without letting myself get distracted by anything, then even when I was distracted the period of distraction was shorter and changes produced quicker. On the level of my ability to focus and my motivation to focus these things seemed stronger when I would resolve myself to focus specifically on maintaining awareness without letting myself be distracted. It seems that the more want to not be distracted, the harder I try to not be distracted, the less distracted I am and the more seemingly positive changes occur.
Further I noted that I appear more likely to achieve the results I've stated if I am well rested, seemingly well nourished and hydrated, and in a positive state of mind. Now a positive state of mind doesn't definitely mean that I am happy, it may simply mean well motivated.

I wasn't going to post any of this yet, because I seem to be missing some of my notes, so my actual record of experiences isn't very detailed. But I missed you guys so I figured I would stop by and share. I do also have some notes from a meditation on a dot on the wall that has strong similarities to this experience that I will try to share later tonight. Later I will also redo this experimental observation, but with me simply seated. I'll share that of course as well, you guys are the closed thing I have to a scientific community for comparison and contrasting of experiences. Anyone who has had a similar experiences please share as much detail as you can, because knowing what you experienced may lead me to be able to learn and experience something new. Or anyone who has read about such experiences that would be of use to me as well.

After I'm done fleshing out the pattern I'm finding with these experiments I'm going to explore how you might achieve these results even if your not as well nourished or well rested, or with a lot of major distractions. What might I need to do to achieve these results if I'm not well motivated, if it is even possible with low motivation.

[songbird]

Aww, we missed you, too.  Thanks for stopping by and I look forward to hearing more of your experiments.