Anger, Happiness and Suffering...

[lavender orchid]

\!!


indra's pearls: wisdom transforming to tangible solidarity; it's wonderful when it starts happening.
thank you.

[lightsun]

HAPPINESS:
Happiness is not the mere possession of money; it is the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort.  LightSun           
(1) This happens to be (finding) one's gift, (2) discovering about any illusion holding us back and ultimately find (3) a balance of doing what you are capable off. The entire time you will be juggling life and in danger of being swept to the vortex of falsehoods which is not the true self.
I believe we have a special gift. I believe if we followed it we would be more complete, and whole as well as more fully healed in all our areas of life. I feel that we get too many messages that conflict with our inner self that is in need of discovering. False desire then comes into play. It is a false desire of expectations put on us. Somehow, we have to realize this inner voice and be true to it. Thus, we become fulfilled, happy, and content. I believe each of us has a gift. Doing this gift, one achieves a sense of happiness as well as utter timelessness.

Finding one's gift will allow the spirit the freedom to soar. This is what life this life is. Find your gift and thus you find yourself. I happen to have a penchant for writing as well as an oratory skill when giving speeches. Doing your gift benefitting the world upon which we live on called earth. Reaching a heightened state of consciousness called flow. For each of us are interrelated with every other life form.

Combining our gifts can also produce the added benefit of a byproduct called synergy or the synergism of which the sum is greater than the parts. This experience is as rapture, which is beyond heavenly words to describe. Only for one moment do we feel like we have experienced a little slice of heaven on earth. It is confounding as it is in effect beyond description. Too many times we may ignore the inner universe, searching for peace, as well happiness when these lay within us.

If one are miserable inside, then all the money, & riches, all the members of the opposite sex (or whichever sex one is attracted to, fame, material possessions, food, and travel will not soothe the soul, most certainly not for long. It is a search for inner peace that is a mantra of an INF/ENF. This inner universe is so crucial. This is why one needs to develop self-esteem and a healthy self-concept to truly know and acknowledge the beauty of the world. For an ISP/ESP, it may be different. This is why for greatest harmony to occur; both inner and outer realities need be balanced. Listen to this inner voice. I call it the universal consciousness.

 It is there. It can help one perceive and pursue activity where one can enter into a state of "Flow." This is to discover one's inner gift. What one was made to do and to become? A person is not in a state of flow; one may resort to "distractions" & "Illusions" to fill a black hole in the human spirit! These people do these things, in an out of balance passion Sex, food, drugs, alcohol, a work addict, an approval addict, a love addict, shopping, video games, & anything out of balance.

These people would do these activities constantly in order to feel good, for the moment, and get through life. It brings no true lasting satisfaction! Generally there is no learning or growth in these activities. We as a human species seem to have a built in mechanism to "actualize “our self. That is to be the best that we can be at whatever our "gift" is, or special talent. The trick is to find that "hidden seed", that special uniqueness about our self. The next hurdle is get past lesser distractions that can impede our growth.

These distractions are anything in life that occupies a lot of our time but is not an activity where one achieves "a state of FLOW". A state of flow is felt as "timelessness", and is a bit of "heaven" on earth. New things scare people. This is why the young are more revolutionary. They see things don’t work and think they have all the plans to change things for the better, even resorting to violence.

After all they can feel invulnerable, strong, and virtually impervious. Plus they happen not being enmeshed by illusionary qualities as wealth, a house, multiple possessions, a spouse and family, responsibilities as bills, so forth. As a person grows stronger one finds oneself chained by invisible chains like the materialism in the world. They then also become the guarding force in their stone castles protecting the very things that possess them. Change is always difficult because we are comfortable doing things a certain way. We can resist change even if it is good for us in the long run.

 Romana wrote, "...is this to be done? How do we know that our image of our self is accurate and not illusory, or biased by pride, guilt or wishful thinking?" This is an excellent question. We can never truly know Romana. One of the things ...I like about you is that we both seem to want to better ourselves, & know truth. It is a never ending journey. It seems we are born blind. Then we seek to establish an identity. Part of growth is if in fact not to tear that ego apart, at least be open to change.

Be open-minded. It is not always easy. We are creatures of habit. If we learned distortions as a child they are hard to eradicate. Part of my growth is cognitive awareness of negative emotions. I suppose to get more specific in line with your question; I look at non-triggerable person. If I see a person talk or write with negative language and labels I know that (1) person is triggered (almost possessed) by emotion & (2) that negative emotion contains distortions of thought.

There are elements of truth in a person who is triggered but they are camouflaged with lies, self lies, rationalizations and denial. This to me is the truest element of finding one's being. Always use love and reason even when you are not met with these qualities. If triggered, (1) take full responsibility for your illogical thoughts & speech and try not to (2) not to act "under the influence" of irrationality, which is almost being under the influence of a drug.

So to be able & look into the mirror of truth and have a true reflection one must contain the element of not being triggered. As long as we have this element of being triggered by negative emotion, we will always have an element of untruth. All we can do is the best we can.
Added to chaos is can we trust our own thoughts.

Many things we have learned are wrong and it takes a lifetime to disentangle oneself from these lies, distortions even of stereotypes and prejudices and misconceptions we have picked up over a life times. Our core beliefs are myths that we believe in, artificially prescribed norms of expected behavior. Will the sky fall down if we don't do what we are culturally expected to do? No.” LightSun

[lightsun]

“I am peaceful and I do not wish to harm anyone, I say I hope my emotions don’t give to anger and I become as one possessed. For anger is temporary psychosis. I would like protecting self as well those who I love, but to do minimal damage and use force only that is needed. We think, therefore we are. I think it a fool indeed, who believes all that he believes. How much of what we know is to be trusted? Look at schizophrenia. They think, feel, and believe passionately in what they think/feel, but is it valid?

What if all this is naught but a dream? How much of what we have learned is written in eternal stone, and not subject to revision? Even science has been written many times over since the dawn of history. What is it, I am wishing to impart is keep an open mind and that we don't know it all. The final fact is we cannot always trust our senses. Look at the history of people being executed, because of eye witness testimony.

A sure sign for me of distorted reasoning is when speaks with an angry heart. There is a sliver of truth there, but it is camouflaged by the person's unfinished business. So what does one do if they happen to be an angry individual? Seek counsel and multiple viewpoints, before making a decision. That is part of the glory and the sorrow of our brains. Our 5 senses can impart much beauty from this world. Our perceptions can also be woefully off, much to our ruin.

The self-righteous who held under the sway of anger are wrong. It seems as there our ghosts in our past which have gotten lost and stay with our system apparently forever. I have this thinking if children would only be taught reason with a love, in other words-they happen to be angry; the problem is then reasonably brought out, dealt then. It is we don't have this intervention with adult figures which cause disturbances in each of us, never quelled.

Anger is a cancer to the human consciousness. It distorts our ability to deal with reality with a balance of love mixed in with reason. Anger colors our perceptions so that we make the wrong decisions and act irrationally. Anger generally elongates the attainment of our dreams and potential. The best way to deal with anger is to prevent it in the first place.

I believe a person nurtured with love and positive regard develops a better self -image and self-esteem. A person who is grounded with love feels better about themselves. Such a person has less anger. They deal with reality more realistically because they see reality more clearly. If one has anger it is important to not act giving in to the anger.

Actions made during times of anger are self-destructive and to be regretted. Removing oneself from the situation can avoid a lot of misery both to oneself and to others. Anger is a cancer to oneself and to society. The best way to prevent anger is to raise a person with love. Once one has anger it is important to not give into it and act irrationally, irresponsibly, immorally, and ineffectually.

As for the nature of anger: I have the idea that it is pain that is internal which is triggered. These people don't have the capacity in making me mad. It is unsolved issues. Problem is I can never get a handle on the issues, they are too deeply rooted. Also when I get angry, depressed, guilt etc., I say, "It is a lie. These are distortions. It is at best an illusion." Now of course there are real world issues which are deplorable. But the emotions instilled in me, or at least the underlying thoughts happen being distorted.

They are mixed in with half-truths. Emotions can and do fool us and our senses. They are not to be believed. For one who has these contaminants which provoke ill feelings are almost nearly disempowered by the primitive brain. With anger comes intolerance and half the battle is lost. However, with correct reflection, sifting out the distortions in reason and logic that afflict us all, we may begin to understand one another.

Anger is a bane to human existence. I know we had need of it in prehistoric days. Everything in balance, okay we have anger. There must be a reason. It can, and does help us to correct societal wrongs. When does it get out of hand? When we cross the line & do evil. When do we know have perpetrated evil? When we take away the rights of people & or life. In the future this may evolve to treat animals and all life on this planet with respect.

Now, currently, anger may be doing "evil" with gay rights or lack thereof. All humans should have equal rights. This is for people on the whole planet. We have two orientations. One is people for planetary rights and solidarity. The other is America first, foremost, and even only. The two opinions are very diametrically opposed. We must be careful of anger showing up between these two groups. Then again maybe it is just part of the process. As long as there is progress.

In the Middle East the Israelis & Muslims in the area have (generalization) a deep rooted hatred & anger that is forestalling progress. They have let anger get in the way of reasoning. Somehow they have to get unstuck! This will require much work, and generations born into looking at things in a new light.

There happen being multiple anger skills which are possible. One, a cognitive oriented view is to be aware, much also as Buddhism. Sometimes the body becomes triggered, this i call temporary psychosis, and one acts with no (little) reason. There may of course have factors underplay. First all of our emotional hard drive was before higher functions kicked into play. There is precedence. Emotion can quite frankly trump reason.

 Two ways of avoiding this will be not letting it escalate. STOP; do not allow your hurt ego to determine the behavior which is pursued. As a metaphor i do picture the Satan as puppet master. He is laughing on our own invoked folly (I don't believe in the devil), There are skill sets being learned which will and must establish themselves into the young child's early life. This happens being learning communication, emotional intelligence and of most importance a cognitive set of oriented thinking, and using the proverbial critical thinking of which is our heritage.

How I cope is say, "Okay, either problem solving or refocusing on what I can do to take back a measure of control". Do what I can do and not necessarily, what I wish to do. I have a whole host of coping mechanisms. I tell you those brain chemicals are very powerful indeed. When and if I become triggered I try riding the storm of emotion out. It is, "And this too shall pass". Maybe, tomorrow I will have a more pleasant day. It is rolling with the punches. I always am hoping always for the best.

If one cannot control you, then remove thyself from the public sphere.  Take a chill pill, time out, walk away, rather than pour the litter of your anger unto the heads of your fellow beings. 

>>>“Cognitive therapy and rational emotive therapy
(1) There is an external event and there is a negative emotion.
(2) The cause of the emotional turmoil is not so much the event as our distorted perception of it.
(3) We identify the distortion.
(4) We replace it with a more realistic thought.
Our emotional discomfort eases.
(5) We take realistic action.” LightSun