Kindness

[songbird]

 
"Once again this year I am going to deliver little gift bags filled with candies, a pretty quote and some goodies to mothers who live on my street and might appreciate being remembered on Mother's Day. I bought mini gift bags, some candy kisses, an individually wrapped Biscotti cookie and a tea bag. I walk my dogs early in the morning at 6am, so it's easy to sneak these little bags and hang them on the door knobs of women in my neighborhood." --AURELIA

 

[songbird]

We live in challenging times. Fear and frustration seep into our soul, infecting our passion, our productivity, and the people around us. Our joy is diminished, our light is dimmed. We repress our compassion for others and soon our behavior changes as we become less patient, less generous, less kind. Good people share fewer smiles, words, and favors which causes other good people to experience fewer smiles, words, and favors. And on it goes.

The good news: even though we live in a world where frustrating and scary things happen, we also live in a world where one person can improve your day with a single act of kindness. A colleague’s thoughtful comment, a neighbor’s quick favor, or even a passerby’s warm smile can jolt you from your busy day and remind you, oh yeah, life is good. You realize that this Thing you’re worried about isn’t so awful after all, and maybe you can face that challenge and come out on top.

And it doesn’t stop there. When that small action changes your mood and lifts your spirit, it increases the chance you’ll smile at the next person you meet and maybe even pause to say “hi” or help them out if they need a hand with something. That puts them in a slightly better place to create a kindness to the next soul they encounter, and on and on and on it ripples....

The fact that kindness ripples isn’t a secret; everyone knows about the power in these tiny actions as well as their contagious, infectious ability to get passed on. We also know how good it feels to DO kindness. When I’m out running errands, I prefer to reach my destination quickly and efficiently. Then I slow down and let another driver into my lane even though it is MY lane, and I notice it feels kinda good and costs, about 2-3 seconds of my life. Then there is a woman with just a few items who I let in front of me at the check out lane, and the older couple at the restaurant whose stories about life in the old days are worth hearing even though I need to get to the airport.

So why don’t we DO them more? Because we are busy with work and school and chores and errands and lists and planning. Because we are anxious about the future and worried about the past as we zoom through our todays. Because we are trying to text and drive and think and plan and rationalize and worry, worry worry about how we are going to get everything done.

These tiny moments define our days and a lifetime is nothing more than collection of days. It is worth striving to be more present in each moment and noticing the people around us to identify those precious opportunities we can smile, say “Thanks,” or “Way to go,” or to extend a hand.

In that spirit, I am driving around the country in my smile-covered Prius to remind us all  that we CAN make it through these challenging times by helping each other with warm smiles, kind words, & quick favors.  I will collect and share photos of smiling people holding encouraging notes as a symbol of the kindness we are capable of unleashing.


http://www.helpothers.org/story.php?sid=12520

[lavender orchid]

eh?

[lightsun]

K: Do you have kindness: I. Compassion: II. Kindness? How does your Kindness manifest? Would you say you are a more open or closed personality type and then does being open or closed have any bearing when it comes to the matter of kindness?
“Romana wrote, "What is kindness? Where is the boundary between being kind to others and becoming a doormat? Is kindness ever a sign of weakness? Can one be good without being kind?"

“These are some very interesting questions. I am glad you asked them. This is highly subjective, but I will give my take. These are all your quotes Romana. (1) "What is kindness?"

"Kindness to me is to do no harm knowingly against an innocent party. This means no physical or psychological harm, including verbal abuse or neglect. It sounds reasonable enough. Why don't we do it? Because unfortunately, Romana, most people if not all are ruled by their passions. Or should I say over-ruled by the more primitive emotions. So kindness is to do no harm: physical, sexual, psychological, verbal, nor neglect. If we don't practice kindness we have pathology or no conscience, and are over-ruled by our passions.

If we practice kindness do we become a sort of, (2) "...a doormat?" Yes, unfortunately that is the case in a large percentage of engagements. We can become to be termed as weak. This is where great strength is required. To if not accept the label, to at least not fight against the false and entirely untrue label.

To be true to one's conscience and higher moral reasoning. It is in essence a test. Can I take the false & misperceived perceptions of my cohorts-those close to me? Both family and friends and still be ruled by a higher conscience. Plus it is essential to set up boundaries. Just because I’m kind does not mean that I will be abused. I will not carry your burden. I may walk hand in hand with you. I will not and cannot do your journey for you." LightSun

[songbird]

And yet, there is a kind of silent strength in being kind that the (fearful) doormat does not possess. 

[lightsun]

Songbird thanks in your answer. I shall share a quote that resonates with what you have said.

I don't forgive people because I'm weak. I forgive
them because I am strong enough to know people make mistakes

[lavender orchid]

\!!

today, i may know how strong my being is (as well as the kind of strength it would always require):
there was a command to forgive i would have loved to obey, but individual learning and understanding took me to what i know now: forgiving is happening as soon as insight into situational extensions ("climate") has retrieved this compassion once more.

strong enough to volunteer, a need arising from perfection seeming already accomplished...

yes, thanks for every word you shared here with me.