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Shinichi Sensei says replace the dirty water in your glass one drop at a time. We see similar advice dispensed at philosophersnotes.com:
Big Idea - Marci Shimoff : Velcro vs. Teflon
"We're still hard-wired the same way: we pay more attention to the negative than to the positive. As the psychologist and brain researcher Dr. Rick Hanson explained to me during our interview, our brains are "Velcro for negativity and Teflon for positivity." Our negative experiences stick to us like Velcro, while our positive experiences slide right off us like Teflon. In fact, researchers have found that it takes numerous positive experiences to overcome a single negative one! Unfortunately, this wiring turns out to be disastrous for our happiness." ~ Marci Shimoff from Happy for No Reason
There's a great section in the book on the fact that we're descended from the "Nervous Nellies" and "Fearful Franks" of the tribe. The peeps who really paid attention to the threats in the environment were the ones who survived long enough to have kids who then had kids who then had us.
As a result, in short, we have a "negativity bias" such that negativity makes a greater impression on our brains and we have "hot amygdalas" such that if we're not careful, we're gonna have a *lot* more fight-or-flight adrenalin running through our system than we want!
How do we deal with that?
Again, it goes back to re-wiring. Marci says: "I'm not talking about wishful thinking, or simply deciding to be happier. That's like pasting a smiley face over our pain or spreading a layer of icing over cake that's burned to a cinder. The bad stuff is still there. What I'm talking about is accessing the higher center of your brain, your neocortex, to reverse the negativity bias and override your primitive alarm system."
And how about this?
"One evening a Cherokee elder told his grandson about the battle that goes on inside of people. He said, "My son, the battle is between the two `wolves' that live inside us all. One is Unhappiness. It is fear, worry, anger, jealousy, sorrow, self-pity, resentment, and inferiority. The other is Happiness. It is joy, love, hope, serenity, kindness, generosity, truth, and compassion."
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf wins?"
The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed." ~ Marci Shimoff from Happy for No Reason
I *love* that. Which wolf are you feeding?
Marci talks about the power of neuro-plasticity and the fact that we're literally re-wiring our brains moment to moment to moment as we either continue to reinforce our old, unhappiness-creating behaviors or build new, happiness-affirming habits. She says we need to "Incline our mind to joy!" Powerful stuff.
One way we can do it is to "Register the Positive." As Marci says: "Have the intention to notice everything good that happens to you: any positive thought you have, anything you see, feel, taste, hear, or smell that brings you pleasure, a win you experience, a breakthrough in your understanding about something, an expression of your creativity--the list goes on and on. This intention activates the reticular activating system (RAS), a group of cells at the base of your brain stem responsible for sorting through the massive amounts of incoming information and bringing anything important to your attention. Have you ever bought a car and then suddenly started noticing the same make of car everywhere? It's the RAS at work. Now you can use it to be happier. When you decide to look for the positive, your RAS makes sure that's what you see."
That's a REALLY Big Idea.
Isn't it wacky that when you buy a new car all the sudden you see that model/color *everywhere*?!? The number of those cars (obviously) didn't change. What changed was your RAS started filtering those cars into your awareness because it was now relevant for you.
Same thing with positive and negative events. One really fun Idea Marci shares on this: start giving away awards throughout the day: the most beautiful flower award, the kindest driver award, the most amazing clouds award. By playing the game you're conditioning your mind to see the beauty and wonder of your world--which, of course, is a VERY good idea if you'd like to live with more joy.
Try it out. It's super fun.
(Brian Johnson, Philosopher)
