Lori Anne
« on: February 11, 2010, 12:39:39 pm »
How important is intellectual compatibility in a relationship? I've never really thought about it until now. Most of my relationships it just hasn't been an issue. I've never dated or had a relationship with anyone that hasn't been overly intelligent. So until now this subject hasn't ever come up. But what do you all think about being in a relationship with someone who is intellectually, not on the same level as you? I don't mean this in a self important way, rather in a practical day-to-day way. What are the benefits and possible drawbacks as you see it?
So far, I've noticed a few little frustrating things, though I try to be patient. Of course cultivating patience is an ongoing lesson for me. Need more! Need so much more.
Here is a somewhat silly article I found on the subject:
Very important. .
I was married to a guy who lacked intelligence (hmmm, what does that say about mine? Ha ha ha). It was frustrating to say the least because I had to converse with him on his level which was extremely hard to do. I was the smarter one, so I had the burden of managing everything in our lives from finances to housekeeping. Conversation was dull and limited. I can't describe him any better than by anecdote:
-One day he came home looking very frustrated and I asked him what was wrong. He was perplexed over a joke a co-worker had told him.
Joke: A guy walks into a bar
Punchline: Ouch!
He didn't get it and I spent the better part of 30 minutes trying to explain it to him.
-His view of income tax/home buying. We were in a situation where we were losing the annual equivalent of my take home pay to income tax. Our rent was significantly more than what we would be paying if we bought a starter house or condo. I did the numbers and buying looked good and we qualified for a mortgage.
"Why do we have to buy a house? I don't see why we should worry about the government taking our money, after all, they do good things with it, right?"
I am not joking. This is almost exactly what he said. My mouth was agape. I filed for divorce soon after that conversation.
And if he did something dumb, guess who got to clean up his mess? Yes, yes, yes, it is VERY important in a relationship.
To the second part of the question:
I have to say I was young when I married, so I was looking for a nice guy who treated me well. I didn't think much about intellectual compatability. I believe I was too young to realize how important it was and I paid dearly for it.
When I divorced and began to date again, I DID seek intellectual compatability and was happily rewarded. It made a tremendous difference in the quality of the relationship. TREMENDOUS.
So whether or not people seek those of similar intellect is a matter of whether they even realize that it's important to look for. If they do, the answer is yes. If not, they marry my ex-husband.
Hope this helps!
The Great Spirit, in placing men on the Earth,
clouds
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Reply #2 on: February 25, 2010, 06:54:04 am »
intelectual compatibility IS important in a relationship.
For me it lies within harmony and balance.
Like I could paint an 8 in fire right now...perhaps blue.
I guess the intelectual point shall be giving a refreshing tone.
lavender orchid
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Reply #3 on: February 25, 2010, 05:05:04 pm »
sure. living is all rhymes with giving.
point taken.
(2) anything else?
what relationship?
« Last Edit: February 26, 2010, 04:28:34 am by lavender orchid »
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Reply #4 on: February 26, 2010, 07:28:31 am »
what relationship?
...
lavender orchid
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Reply #5 on: February 27, 2010, 07:55:12 am »
dear clouds:
kudos! \!!
we learn in different ways. for such stuff i would need direct private tuition!
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Reply #6 on: February 28, 2010, 02:23:57 am »
clouds
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Reply #8 on: February 28, 2010, 01:10:41 pm »
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Reply #9 on: February 28, 2010, 01:37:02 pm »
« Last Edit: February 28, 2010, 01:38:44 pm by clouds »
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Reply #11 on: March 01, 2010, 01:41:56 am »
lol lavender..!
nice video
clouds
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Reply #13 on: March 01, 2010, 01:22:21 pm »
thread title remains the same.(I had to write something)
P.S.Nah...I pledge for something better....
« Last Edit: March 01, 2010, 01:29:27 pm by clouds »
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